Floating Stones

At the Tastee Diner...

Hurricanes

Hurricane Katrina, which hit Mississippi and Louisiana today, will likely join this list.

Strongest hurricanes on record:

1. Florida Keys (1935)
2. Camille (1969)
3. Andrew (1992)
4. Florida Keys, TX (1919)
5. Lake Okeechobee, FL (1928)
6. Donna (1960)
7. New Orleans (1915)
8. Carla (1961)
9. Hugo (1989)
10. Miami, Pensacola, FL (1926)

Arlington National Cemetery

Biking Around Washington

Georgetown Waterfront

Washington, D.C.

Sach's Bridge

On the night of July 3, 1863, General Robert E. Lee marched most of his army over this bridge when he retreated from the battlefield after the defeat of Pickett's charge.

Sometimes Life Just Kicks the Shit Out of You...

Some thoughts on adversity:


"One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity."

~ Albert Schweitzer


"Trouble is the common denominator of living. It is the great equalizer."

~Ann Landers


"You never know what events are going to transpire to get you home."

~Apollo 13 movie


"Weak minds sink under prosperity as well as adversity; but strong and deep ones have two high tides."

~David Hare


"There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties or you alter yourself meeting them."

~Phyllis Bottome


"Adversity brings knowledge, and knowledge wisdom."
~ Welsh Proverb


"Gray skies are just clouds passing over."

~ Duke Ellington

The Beatles - Yesterday & Tomorrow

The Washington Post ran a story yesterday about the Beatles possibly releasing one more song. It’s a John Lennon composition called “I Don’t Want to Lose You.” The song was one of three the remaining Beatles worked on in the mid-90s while they were completing the Anthology series. The other two songs, “Free As A Bird” and “Real Love” were released.

“I Don’t Want to Lose You” collects dust on some studio rack. They say it’s basically a great chorus without verses, so Paul McCartney and Ringo would have to complete the song. The Post story raised this question: should the remaining Beatles complete and release the song or should they let it be.

I say go for it! And I say take it a step further.

Here’s my suggestion. McCartney and Starr should reserve an out-of-the-way studio somewhere in Jamaica for a couple of months. Then they should invite ALL of the Beatle offspring to participate in a new recording project.

Toss that gene pool out there and see what comes together. It could be interesting. McCartney could surely pull things together from a production standpoint. At the minimum you start off with a great songwriter and bass player plus a very good drummer. The kids could fill in around them.

The wit and emotional honesty of John Lennon would be missing, but we could look forward to the vocal harmony of Paul and Julian Lennon whose voice is eerily close to that of his father’s. Harrison’s mystical bent wouldn’t be there but his son, Dhani, could provide some spiritual guitar and a bent of his own.

On a different level, it would be a great learning experience for the children (not without talent, I’ve read), and the children could actually inspire the geezers. The oldsters could provide structure and experience; the youngsters could supply the energy. And possibly out of that group could come the core of another group to continue on.

Yoko could come too, but she would have to promise not to sing.

If the group were to come up an album that met Beatle standards, then it would be released and the proceeds donated to charity. Everyone wins!

I’m providing the additional song titles for the new album:

I Don’t Want to Lose You
Blue 2 Blue
Lovin’ You is Livin’ Hell
Smokin’ Toes
Wednesday Afternoon Between 2 & 3
Let’s Go Down
The Good Old Days
I Could Get Lost in You
Judiciary Square
Hold On Baby
In the Soup
Nasty (Let’s Kick Ass)
IM4U

Football Training Camp

My niece’s son will be a freshman in high school this September, and he’s out for the football team. He’s in the first week of his first August training camp, so naturally thoughts of my own training camp experience as an underclassman occurred to me.

- Two-a-day workouts in the wicked heat of August

- Calisthenics, wind sprints, blocking and tackling the two-man and seven-man sleds until you thought you would drop

- Coaches yelling at you, cajoling, pushing you further

- Scrimmages, gauntlet, laps

- The coaches – Padjen, Kreuter, Zataveski, and Graybill

- The upperclassmen - Tom Good, Sonny Shoff, Dave Rodman, and Bob Lehigh

- The plays - 1-31 Counter, Screen Pass Left, 22-Trap

- “That’ll Be The Day” by Buddy Holly and the Crickets playing in the locker room

- Games of “In Between” at a nickel a bet played between morning and afternoon practices

- That awful sensation of putting on pads and uniform for the afternoon practice still clammy from the morning’s practice

- Aching muscles and the “good” tired feeling at the end of the day

-Atomic Balm on the balls

- The camaraderie and the great feeling of coming together as a team

Looking back, it was a terrific experience, although there were times in the thick heat of the afternoon that not many of us thought so. Happily, the tradition goes on.

GO HAWKS!

Word Origins for 300, Alex

Cord of Wood

Stacks of firewood were once measured with cords of rope hence the term. A cord of wood is 8' long, 4' high and wide.

Factoid

Sports Illustrated magazine allows subscribers to opt out of receiving the famous swimsuit issue each year. Fewer than 1% choose this option.

True Grit

The following is from the October 13, 1935 issue of Grit, a newspaper once published in Williamsport, PA and directed at the rural community. My niece and her husband found this issue when they replaced the roof on their house.

Polecat in Furnace Disrupts Church Service

Church services were suspended for the day last Sunday at the Rouzerville Episcopal Church.

When the janitor went to start the fire the night before he made an unpleasant discovery. Disputing the right of way was nothing more or less than a polecat, and it became necessary in the course of events to shoot the visitor. Services the following day were thereby rendered inadvisable.

It was explained by one consistent member of the church, without undue levity, that the “devil had got into the furnace.”

Bird Bath in the Hills

Writing on the Bathroom Wall

Beauty is only a light switch away.

Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC

If you tinkle and you sprinkle,

Be a sweetie wipe the seatie

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LO

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men

Women's restroom Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.

Men's Room Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC

At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ


If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.


A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX


Written on tank next to handle:

Please wiggle Handel

Written below it:

If I do, will it wiggle Bach?


A kiss is two questions answered at once.


Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but whips and chains excite me,
So... throw me down,and tie me up
and show me that you like me.

Crab Cakes

Here’s a pretty good crab cake recipe:

2-4 tablespoons cracker crumbs
¼ cup finely chopped green onions
a dash of Cajun seasoning or paprika
1 lb. backfin or lump crabmeat
½ cup sour cream
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
a dash of Tabasco sauce

(Lemon Butter Parsley - recipe below)

Mix the cracker crumbs, green onions, and a dash of Cajun seasoning or paprika. Using a rubber spatula, gently fold in the crabmeat, sour cream, Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco sauce. Form the mixture into six crab cakes and place on a baking sheet that has been sprayed with vegetable cooking spray or very lightly oiled. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes at 400 degrees F. Top each serving with Lemon Butter Parsley Sauce.

Lemon Butter Parsley Sauce

1 stick butter
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parley
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon white wine
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon pepper
a dash of Worcestershire sauce
a dash of Tabasco sauce.

Melt butter in saucepan and mix in parsley, lemon juice, white wine, salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, and Tabasco sauce. Simmer briefly over low heat.

Serves 6

Recipe from Al Olinde, Salisbury, MD

Conspiracy afoot

Einstein's Riddle

My old friend and colleague, Claudette, from the Trademark Office days sent me this riddle. It reminds me of the SuDoKu puzzles currently the rage.

1. There are 5 houses in 5 different colors

2. In each house lives a person with a different nationality

3. These 5 owners drink a certain beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar and keep a certain pet.

4. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same

The question is: who keeps fish?

The Clues

1. The Brit lives in a red house.

2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.

3. The Dane drinks tea.

4. The green house is on the left of the white house.

5. The green house owner drinks coffee.

6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.

7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.

8. The man living in the house right in the centre drinks milk.

9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.

10. The man who smokes Blend lives next to the one who keeps cats.

11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.

12. The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.

13. The German smokes Prince.

14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.

15. The man who smokes Blend has a neighbor who drinks water.

Museum Fatigue

Lying

When I was a kid, my mother saved dimes in a box which she kept in a drawer of the buffet in the dining room. I started stealing these dimes to buy comic books (Captain Marvel, Little Lulu, The Blackhawks, Donald Duck) usually a dime at a time. It went on for months until it was obvious dimes were missing.

My mother finally confronted me one day, asked me if I had been taking dimes, and I told her I had not. She took me down in the basement and paddled my little eight-year-old ass. As she was thwacking me, she angrily said, “this is not for stealing dimes, this is for LYING to me.”

This shocked me because my mother was a kind and gentle woman who rarely raised her voice and rarely got angry. But here she was, angry as hell and keenly disappointed in me. I got over the pain of the paddling, but I never forgot how upset she was. And I never forgot those words. This is not to say I never lied after that, I did and I do occasionally to spare someone’s feelings, but outright lying is something I try very hard to avoid.

Which brings me to Rafael Palmeiro… I’m a lifelong Oriole fan, and I’ve always liked Palmeiro. He’s been a very steady player throughout his career. He's quiet and unassuming and supposedly a good family man. When he got his 3,000th hit last month, it looked like he was a sure bet to get into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Now, he has tested positive for steroids after telling Congress he never ever used them.

So, he lied. He apparently thought he needed to take steroids to reach the 3,000 hit mark. He knew he had tested positive when he got his 3000th hit. He knew he had tested positive when the Orioles raised the “Congratulations, Raffy” banner on the warehouse at Camden Yards. He lived the lie.

It’s not really the use of steroids that gets me although they are clearly bad news (tiny balls, balloon heads: not cool). What really pisses me off is that he lied. The lie, like in so many other cases (Nixon - Watergate, Clinton -Lewinsky, Stewart - insider trading), is worse than the action.

Disappointing.

Essentials

WD-40
Bounce
Duct Tape

Some uses of Bounce, the fabric softener:

To eliminate static electricity from your television or computer screen, wipe the screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.

It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often.

Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season, it will repel them.

To dissolve soap scum from shower doors, clean then with a sheet of Bounce.

Freshen the air in your home by placing an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang one in the closet.

To keep your vacuum cleaner smelling fresh, put a Bounce sheet in it.

Freshen the air in your car by placing a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.

Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food.

Remove animal hair from furniture or clothes by rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce. It will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

Eliminate static electricity from mini blinds. Wipe them with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.

Deodorize shoes or sneakers by placing a Bounce sheet in your shoes or sneakers overnight.

Rainy day cure for dog odor ... the next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe him down with a Bounce sheet.

Biking Around Washington

The Abner Cloud House, located just west of Georgetown, is the oldest existing structure along the C & O Canal. Built in 1801 by Abner Cloud, a miller, it was used both as a family residence and for storage of grain and flour.

Jackie, Ben, and Maddie

Those Fabulous Keith Girls

Congratulations and Best Wishes!

Mr. and Mrs. Ben Shaffer