View from Hilltop House, Harper's Ferry, WVA

Mountain Stream

Buddy the Dog in Halloween attire

Safeway Bethesda - old & new

Insults

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." Disraeli responded: "That depends, Sir, whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." – MarkTwain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend . . . if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . . if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop


"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand



"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Classic

Last Rose of Summer

Joke of our times

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountain pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand new BMW sped toward him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes and RayBan sunglasses, leaned out the window and asked, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone and surfs to the NASA website where he calls up a GPS satellite to get a fix on his location, which he feeds to another NASA satellite that provides an ultra-high-resolution photo. He opens the photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image-processing facility in Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot stating the image has been processed and the data stored.

He accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC-connected Excel spreadsheet on his blackberry and receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full color, 150-page report on his miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select an animal and stuff it into the trunk of his

car. Then he says to the young man. "Hey, if I tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a member of the U.S. Congress," says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie. "How did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars of equipment bought with taxpayers' money to show me how much smarter you are than me; and you don't know a thing about how ordinary people make a living. And you most certainly do not know anything about cows and calves. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog."

STEVE JOBS

Steve Jobs convinced me that I needed to stand in line for four hours to get the iPad II. The other hundred or so people in line were relatively quiet for the first 3 and 1/2 hours, but in that last half hour the excitement built. It felt like the minutes before the beginning of a rock concert. And guess what...the excitement was justified, and it was worth the wait. To one of the truly great innovators - thanks.

Mossberg Comments

Beer 'n' Breasts at the Octoberfest