Goodnight, D.C.

Goodnight

eAST cOAST cAT

Mosaic (don't stare at it)

1 in 5 Americans...

thinks socialism is superior to capitalism

reports "excessive sleepiness"

believes in the right of a state to secede

thinks marijuana is more dangerous than alcohol

believes that intelligent beings from other planets have made contact with humans on Earth

admits to peeing in pools

(from yesterday's Washington Post)

Drunk on Pollen

Stone Bridge, Adams County, PA

The Court Rules

The Supreme Court ruled yesterday that it is illegal for a US citizen to make fun of other people. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who wrote the majority opinion, explained the ruling. "Making fun of someone hurts their feelings, and there's just no room for that in a civilized society," she said. "It's common sense," she continued, "you wouldn't hurt someone physically, why would you allow someone to hurt another emotionally. This ruling, by the way, stems from that horrible reference made by Chief Justice Roberts about me. He called me a wicked witch from the west leaning to the left on her broomstick. That hurt, Mr. smart-assed conservative, sissy boy with a cork up his ass, and now it's illegal."

Outside of chambers that day, the justices (Roberts, Kennedy, Stevens, Scalia, Thomas, Alito, Ginsburg, Bryer, Sotomayor, and recently confirmed justice, Kagen) gather round a lunch table:

Kagen: As you know, I'm new here, and I want to state unequivocally that I am not a lesbian.

Scalia: Well, you look like one.

Kagen: Well, I'm NOT.

Scalia: Prove it. Have sex with me right now...

Kagen: I am not having sex with you.

Scalia: Then, that confirms that you're a lesbian.

Kagen: No, it confirms that you're an idiot.

Thomas: I'll have sex with you, Anthony.

Scalia: NO THANKS, Clarence!

Thomas: Is it because I'm black...

Scalia: No, it's because you're a conservative wing nut.

Thomas: That hurts me, paisano...don't be cruel to a heart that's true...

a

Stevens: Well, that's it. My time is up; I'm leaving; nice working with you worthless bastards.

Sotomajor: Don't let the door hit your bony ass on the way out, you old coot!

Stevens: Hey, Chiquita Banana, I resent that!"

Sotomajor: And I resent the fact that you're still here. Git along little doggie...git...git ...OUT!

a

Kennedy: Goddamn it, I'm tired of deciding what's just and unjust; I want to be a Blackjack dealer!

Alito: You look like a Portuguese clown on a bender. I see no blackjack dealing in your future.

Kennedy: I'm a proud Irishman...

Alito: ...on a bender.

Kennedy: You, my former friend, are a loud-mouthed ass whose farts in public are MUCH louder than he thinks.

Alito: I'm placing you under arrest for making fun of me.

Laughter (but not at anyone's expense)

Go Green

Hibiscus

Where Have You Gone Gary Larson?

Wings of Fancy